FutureFormerBoss

Archive for October, 2012|Monthly archive page

Baby on Board!

In Uncategorized on October 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

Nope, not me.  And probably not you either!

I’m on to you with your “baby on board” sign hanging in a car window.  You think you can cut in front of anyone on the Kennedy, leapfrog lanes on 294, take the bike line to go around me on Lawrence.  You do all of these things with a baby on board?  Shame on you!

Your “baby on board” sign does nothing for me. The only positive thought in my mind when I see this sign is that if you do indeed have a baby on board then your car is probably messier than mine.

But I suspect you don’t even have a baby seat on board.  Or a baby doll!  Or baby carrots (I have those)!  I’ll never know since you weave in and out of traffic so fast to you can beat everyone else to work of course.

I wish there was a sign for Angry Lady with a Small Bladder on Board Who is Fantasizing about Rear-ending Your Car!  Would that fit on a small square sign or do we think that sign might take up too my much space in my read window?

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FFB 38: I think I had five seconds before you interrupted me

In Uncategorized on October 16, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Dear Future Former Boss (Major Networks)

I quit.  Moderating a presidential debate? Nobody told me I would have to put my foot down!  Or put Big Bird’s foot down for that matter!  I missed a really great night on Twitter to be talked down to by Romney and Obama.  Romney even had the nerve to say to my face that he would cut funding for PBS! We hardly get any federal funding as it is.  PBS better not be thinking I’ll take a pay cut with that hit.  No siree.  No siree Bob.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee, Jim Lehrer

P.S. I bet they walk all over Candy too!

Things I wouldn’t let you tell my mother even if you could

In Uncategorized on October 15, 2012 at 7:16 pm

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1. I do not always buy on sale with a coupon.  Sometimes I pay full price!

2. I will go to the dry cleaner just to have her sew a button on.

3. I own dry clean only clothes.

4. I do not “kill them with kindness” but sometimes I dish out some zingers that kill.

5. I do not wear a slip under that skirt.

6. I do not save ketchup packets from fast food restaurants.

7. Sometimes I throw out the little bits of soap instead of trying to meld them together into a new bar.

8. I wear a hat in the winter now. In fact, I zip up my coat too.

9. Sometimes I eat a poultry product without cranberry sauce but that’s usually because it wasn’t on sale or I didn’t have a coupon.

10. I currently have five different boxes of cereal open at one time. I probably paid full price for at least one of them.

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