FutureFormerBoss

Archive for August, 2012|Monthly archive page

Lessons in bird poop

In Uncategorized on August 29, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I became a car owner for the first time in my life just over two months ago nearly 20 years after I first got my driver’s license. So this morning I officially experienced my first bird poop incident.

Apparently last night I parked under an angry bird or 100 angry birds. It may have been that a flock of birds that dive-bombed me even because it seems nearly impossible that bird poop could get on the under-side of my door handle but not the top (I had to use only two fingers to open the door this morning).

This incident felt like it may have been personal. I think I have met my personality match in a bird. And she is an angry bird. I may understand some of her anger actually.

It turns out, it can be hard to get bird poop off of your car. I have only previously been to a car wash once (yes, I know, I should wash the car more often – did I mention I just became a car owner?). So I figured the automatic wash at the gas station (with the bonus discount of 2 cents off per gallon of gas woohoo) would do the trick.

Um, no.

I went through the car wash twice, first choosing the mid-range service and then upgrading to deluxe. I refused to go through the car wash a third time so I made some lame attempts to use the window wash thing by the gas pump to scrub the indestructible bird poop off the hood of my car. People started to give me looks. I gave up but heads up, you might want to take a close look at those gas station window wipe things before using them. I know one in Oak Brook that is full of bird you know what.

So what are the lessons in bird poop?
* Avoid that particular tree on my block and never park under it again.
* Always carry small rocks so I can throw them should I ever see angry bird and get a good shot.
* Keep handi-wipes in the car to wash hands should they happen upon door handle bird poop.
* Get a hand car wash next time. But not with my hands.

24 hour access

In Uncategorized on August 23, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I would like to propose a 24 hour pseudoephedrine store where I can go every 8-10 days (when I am cleared) to buy my allotted pseudoephedrine products, i.e. generic Claritin D.  You can scan my ID, make me sign my life away, even tell me about the dangers of methamphetamines and sell me snacks and gum.  I just need my generic Clairitn D, and I need it immediately since you make me wait until the last day of my package count to purchase another pseudoephedrine product.

I don’t want to stand in line at a pharmacy only open from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. while another shopper gets her blood pressure medication filled or someone asks you if the anti-fungal cream will really treat that foot fungus or should they see a doctor.  Of course I don’t want to run into Miss blood pressure medication in the parking lot when she hasn’t gotten her meds and she’s behind the wheel.  Nor will I go barefoot anywhere, let alone anywhere near foot fungus man.  But I want those customers to get their medications from the pharmacy while I go to the pseudoephedrine store so I can breathe.

Have you seen the mold count lately?  Mold is a 24 hour problem that requires 24 hour access to decongestants.  I think you can get a lot of bang for your buck here.  Especially if you also sell ice cream cones.  Those are always good too.

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