FutureFormerBoss

Archive for November, 2011|Monthly archive page

FFB 25: The end is near

In Uncategorized on November 29, 2011 at 9:46 am

I’ve been watching too much Dexter lately….

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit.  I drank the Kool-Aid, and I am going to go live on a commune with the Prophet.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. Save yourself! The end is near!

P.P.S. I hope they make a reality tv show out of this prophet/commune stuff! I could be famous!

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FFB 24: Don’t forget who’s the boss!

In Uncategorized on November 23, 2011 at 9:35 am

Dear Future Former Boss:

We quit.  As a super committee, we were neither super nor a committee.  We cannot come to a bipartisan agreement.  Are you surprised?  These talking points have been written for quite some time.  Surely you know that.  And this whole super committee business has delayed our re-election campaigns while we were stuck here in DC working.

Time to hit the pavement, shake those hands and hold those babies for photo opportunities!

Sincerely,

Your (Future) Former Deficit Reducer

P.S. We will be casting blame on each other through this Thanksgiving holiday but want to take a moment to say, “thank you voters for continuing to put us back in office so we  may do the good work of the people.”

FFB 23: 142 characters or less

In Uncategorized on November 20, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Dr FFB (Demi): I quit.

Sincerely, @aplusk

PS: Ladies I’m back on the market! Directors time 2 give me some good roles! I can act, really I can!

FFB 22: A Living Hell

In Uncategorized on November 17, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit.  For some time now you have been making my life a living Hell.  I look forward to parting ways.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I have learned well from you.  I plan to put my new skills to work these last two weeks.

FFB 21: Bitter pill to swallow

In Uncategorized on November 15, 2011 at 8:34 am

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit.  I’m bitter that you got the promotion instead of me.  I cannot find a way to sabotage you so I have to seek other employment.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. No one else thinks you deserved the promotion over me either.

FFB 20: Ok, you got me, I’ll quit

In Uncategorized on November 10, 2011 at 9:52 am

Dear Future Former Boss:

You got me.  I will quit.  At the end of this season because you know I am the winningest coach in college football history right?  And those wins sure were worth it.  Worth turning a blind eye when I thought some boys might be getting hurt.  Because it’s all about the W’s in the column, isn’t it? And there’s a Rose Bowl bid on the line this year, you know.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I hope this concession is enough and you don’t fire me before the end of the football season. Because there’s a Rose Bowl bid on the line this year.  Did I mention that?

 

FFB 19: What WERE you thinking?

In Uncategorized on November 8, 2011 at 10:34 am

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit.  I am not who you think I am.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. Duh

FFB 18: I can’t afford it!

In Uncategorized on November 4, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Sticking to this week’s “down” theme…  Next week back to the funny business I swear.

Dear Future Former Boss:

Please accept my resignation letter.  I appreciate the company’s efforts to retain staff during these difficult economic times.  However, with the cuts to my pay and benefits and the continued high cost of daycare for my children, I can no longer afford to work here.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I plan to open my own daycare since it seems that’s where the money’s at! I left some of my flyers in the staff lounge.

FFB 17: In Honor of the Triple Dip in Housing

In Uncategorized on November 1, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

Please accept this letter of resignation.  My husband and I are under water in our mortgage and are abandoning our home.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. A cash payout for my vacation time would be most appreciated as we may be living in our car for a bit.

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