FutureFormerBoss

Archive for October, 2011|Monthly archive page

FFB 16: A parting gift

In Uncategorized on October 28, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit.  For years now, I have been sleeping with anyone and everyone in the office so I could get a promotion, and it’s not working.  I’m still just a staff assistant. Time to move on!

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. Somebody here has given me a souvenir of our relationship. You may want to go to the doctor and get checked out.

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FFB 15: There is just too much to do!

In Uncategorized on October 27, 2011 at 10:54 am

Going with a theme here this week…

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit. There’s just too much work to do here.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I really don’t want to do too much work these last two weeks.  I hope you understand, thanks.

FFB 14: I’m a quitter

In Uncategorized on October 25, 2011 at 11:26 am

Dear Future Former Boss:

What’s that saying?  Once a quitter, always a quitter?  Well, I quit.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I’m pretty sure the grass IS greener on the other side. The side away from you.

FFB 13: Feeling Lucky, and not just because this is number 13

In Uncategorized on October 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

Please accept this resignation letter.  I heard on the news that the economy is improving.  I need to be ready for all of those job interviews coming my way.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. Somebody mentioned the housing market is improving also.  The news almost seems too good to be true, doesn’t it?

FFB 12: Bless me Father for I have sinned

In Uncategorized on October 17, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

This letter is to notify you of my resignation.  I am going to become a priest.   Please do not come to me to confess your sins; I already know all of them.

Yours in Christ (practicing my signature for the future job),

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. Even God won’t forgive you for what you’ve done.

FFB Letter 11: Parks and Recreation

In Uncategorized on October 11, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Dear Future Former Boss,

I thought when I applied for a job with parks and recreation that I would be working at an amusement park or enjoying some recreation and having fun. I didn’t know that nature would be involved. Or work. I don’t do nature, and I definitely don’t want to work in it.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. You may want to consider a name change for the department since “recreation” is so misleading.

FFB Letter 10: I won!

In Uncategorized on October 6, 2011 at 9:18 am

Dear Future Former Boss (via text message from Hawaii):

I quit. I won the lotto!

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I still expect to be paid out for all of my unused vacation time.

FFB Letter 9: The Hermit

In Uncategorized on October 4, 2011 at 11:13 am

Today’s letter was inspired by my commute to work on the el.  My seat neighbor forgot his headphones for his music but that didn’t stop him from listening to it.  Or singing along to it.  For a very long ride.

Dear Future Former Boss:

This letter is to inform you of my resignation.  I have decided to become a hermit. I just can’t be around people any more.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I’m sure my anti-social decision comes as no surprise to you or my colleagues.

FFB Letter 8: The Payoff

In Uncategorized on October 2, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit.  I know I have 500 more community service hours to fulfill but surely there is someone I can payoff.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee (mandated by the courts of course)

P.S. I brought my checkbook to work today…

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