FutureFormerBoss

Archive for September, 2011|Monthly archive page

FFB Letter 7: Enough Said!

In Uncategorized on September 29, 2011 at 11:08 am

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit. You’re sucking the life out of me.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I think that covers it, don’t you?

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FFB Letter 6 – Amen to that!

In Uncategorized on September 26, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

This letter is to notify you of my intention to quit.

I’m going to become a nun.  Have you seen the dating pool out there?  I’ve decided that a life of celibacy (such as the one I’m already living) should be rewarded with a marriage to Jesus and a set wardrobe to wear to work every day.

Yours in prayer and sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I’ll pray for you. I know how much you need my prayers.

P.P.S. I’ll pray for your wardrobe too.

FFB Letter 5: Laundry Day

In Uncategorized on September 22, 2011 at 9:04 am

Dear Future Former Boss:

Please accept this letter as my resignation.  I don’t need to work here any more. I’ve finally laundered enough money from the company to afford the lifestyle that I want.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. That big check you wrote yesterday is probably going to bounce.

Future Former Boss Letter 4 – Clone me Please!

In Uncategorized on September 20, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I only intended to post letters one or two times/week but I’m jumping the gun and posting this letter today because a girl can dream right?

Dear Future Former Boss:

I quit.  You may not have noticed, but there is only one of me.  There are not a handful of my clones walking around the office and helping me complete the inordinate amount of work that you think I can get done.  Until science and ethics catch up with your needs and allow human cloning, I think it’s best that I move on.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. One of you is enough.

Future Former Boss Letter 3 – Ride the Express!

In Uncategorized on September 19, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

This letter is to advise you of my intention to quit my position.

In all honesty, I thought the 2 hour train commute each day to work would be great because it would be time away from my family.  It turns out a lot of my neighbors ride the same train, and I don’t like them either.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I will save you a seat on the 5:11 express train tonight. If I don’t see you then, I’ll see you at the block party tomorrow!

Future Former Boss Letter 2

In Uncategorized on September 14, 2011 at 10:54 am

Dear Future Former Boss:

I know I just started working here last month but, wow, was I wrong about this place and working for you.  In fact, this may be the biggest mistake I have ever made, bigger even than marrying my first husband, the one who is in prison.

Thank you for letting me take my two weeks’ vacation at the beginning of my employment.  I made good use of the time to find another job that I cannot possibly hate as much as this one.

Sincerely,

Your Future Former Employee

P.S. I am happy to provide feedback on how you and the company can improve.

FFB Letter 1: References, check!

In Uncategorized on September 8, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Dear Future Former Boss:

This letter is to inform you of my intention to resign.   Today is my last day.  I was never qualified for this job.  I lied on my resume. I can’t believe you couldn’t tell.  I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing here.

Sincerely,

Your future former employee

P.S. You may want to talk to the human resources department about doing a better job checking references and past employers for job candidates.

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